Question:
Hi, I have a problem. About every six to eight months I seem
to fly off the handle. Every time my wife gets an order of protection
against me to stay away from her and our 9 year old daughter.
I break things in the house, throw things around. I never hit
her or the daughter. About 5 months ago I started going to the
shrink for help and he told me I have bipolar. but I dont think
so, I think its anger or intermittent explosive diorder. I'm
alittle better than I was. I used to go off on a lot of things.
I dont know what to do anymore, I have to get better for me and
everyone involved. please help. thanks
Answer: Dear Friend, I suggest you get anger management coaching
and resources. See: http://www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com/ for
resources and articles which will help you deal with the anger.
Issues and Triggers:
Most likely, you have issues beneath the surface which need to be explored
but, you also need to become aware of triggers and stressors precipitating
your anger, new coping skills to manage anger, and what thinking patterns
may be contributing to your anger.
Log some of the situations which recently caused
you to feel angry and fly off the handle. What were the triggers?
What happened and what were you thinking? Did you catastrophize the
situation? Did you jump to false conclusions or personalize the situation?
Were you stressed out by something else?
Distorted thinking and false beliefs such as: "I
deserve to be treated..." or "I am entitled to..." contribute to
anger escalation. If you can begin to control the hot self-talk and
challenge your thinking with reality and truth - your angry emotions
will defuse. Taking a Time-out is one of the best ways to control
your anger.
Mental Health treatment: Since your psychiatrist
thinks you have bipolar disorder - I suggest you follow his recommendations
for counseling and medication. Bipolar disorder does have a chemical/physiological
basis and needs to be treated as such. Also, counseling can help
give you perspective on your life, help you express your feelings
and teach to healthy ways to cope with anger.
Since you have abusive tendencies - I suggest you read and order some of
the resources found at: Safe Relationships.
God bless!
